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Setting rules...help!😭
Posted 03/29/2016
With all the family drama/stress my husband and I have had we have decided for it to be him and I only at the hospital. We are going to call people when we get home to come see LO
(little one) at times we say to keep from having a ton of people here at once. Well when we told people that everyone has caused more stress and they are extremely mad. They say that its not our decision if they come to the hospital and that they will be there. I'm 40w1d and I can't deal with anymore stress from them right now. They also don't want to be around certain people in the family when they visit LO
(little one) because of divorce, etc, its like a bunch of high school kids! I have had to get an attitude with everyone so now I'm the bad guy.
What are some rules about visiting and new baby that are good to set in this situation?
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Posted 03/29/2016
don't tell them until the baby has already been born and you're ready. Don't worry about their squabbles - not your concern. If they start behaving in a way that creates tension when they visit, send them away. Don't cater to the drama
Posted 03/29/2016
don&#39;t tell them until the baby has already been born and you&#39;re ready...
We have really thought about not telling them I'm at the hospital until he is born. I thought it may have been little much so I'm really glad you said that. It makes me feel better about not telling them. I just want this time for my husband and I to be special since we are FTP.
Posted 03/29/2016
I wouldn't tell them that you are even at the hospital and when you register, I would register under confidential. That is what we did. No visitors until we got home and could control when they came. It has been so nice.
Last edited 03/29/2016
Yes, don't tell anyone until after the baby is born. And it is not your job to separate visitors because they can't get along, you have more important things to do. Do not engage is squabbles, they can either hold it together or not visit.
Posted 03/29/2016
My daughter is three weeks old and I have family I haven't told yet
Posted 03/29/2016
Your focus should be on you and the baby, you don't need added family drama. Stand your ground with no visitors while in the hospital and let the nurses know you dont want any visitors except your husband. If they get mad that's their own doing. You're doing what's best for you and baby
Posted 03/29/2016
We didn't tell anyone until baby was here. We phoned/Facebook-ed family and friends a few hours later and let the people who asked about hospital visits know that we weren't really up to it yet.
My thoughts were that until I knew how baby and myself were coming with recovery, I didn't want to have to worry about anyone else. Everyone was pretty understanding. Neither of mine or my husband's families are nearby, so 'visits' would mean overnight guests. We held off until 5 days. Next time, it will probably be for 2-3 weeks. It's no fun catering to others (no matter how much you love them!) when you're sleep deprived, bleeding with vag-stitches, hormonal and totally swollen. Having to wrestle your baby away from others all the time is a nightmare. (Cluster feeding newborns only want/need you!)
FWIW, several nurses who cared for us post-partum noted that we were recovering especially well and THEY were the ones who attributed it to no guests being around all the time.
Posted 03/29/2016
Your baby your body your rules!! I hated having visitors. My boobs were out constantly and your bleeding and wearing giant panties. The more relaxed you can keep it the better. We wish we hadn't told anyone we were in labor. You can register under confidential that way no one will be able to find out what room you are in. We asked our friends not to visit and only had our parents and his siblings visit and then we told them I wasn't up for long visits so please keep it to 30 min?
Posted 03/29/2016
Be very up front with the nursing staff. They can play the bad guys. Just blame it on hospital policy. We only had a few visitors at the hospital, that we invited. Remember this is your time, and the family/friends that truly love you will understand.
Posted 03/29/2016
Thank you all! I felt bad at first for making this decision but after everyone has showed their ass the whole time I have been pregnant it made it a very easy decision.
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